Bodhicitta & The Meaning of the Bodhisattva Vows

(Note: This transcript may contain errors)

Lama Lena:

Good morning. Today’s teaching is Bodhicitta. This is in preparation for tomorrow, where I will offer those of you who wish, the Bodhisattva vows. It’s best to understand a bit, the meaning of these, and the meaning of Bodhicitta. It does not mean compassion. Compassion (in the Christian sense), has the connotation of above and below, “oh you poor thing, I have compassion for you”. That’s not nyingjé. That’s not changchub sem.

Refuge and Guru Yoga is not separate than, it is not other than, Bodhicitta. 

[Lama Lena recites the Drukpa Kargyu Lineage Prayer]

All Buddha’s of the four times. They themselves arise out of all sentient beings of the three realms. There’s no separation here. Bodhicitta, love for all life; which itself arises as all Buddha’s –which is the essence of your teacher. Do you see? There is no separation here. Bodhicitta; the word “Bodhi”– thus gone, gone beyond, gone beyond the beyond, and beyond that as well. “Citta”– consciousness, a word that points at mind, nature of mind, mind-nature of mind, gone beyond and beyond the beyond, and beyond that beyond as well. Bodhicitta.

We are all–you and me (and the bugs and the birds and the critters that run through the grass and the trees and those that swim and crawl). We are all in this together; both in samsara, as it is (not as you think it is, not as you hope it will be, or fear you might be). Nirmanakaya; trulku–as it is, and Nirvana, as it is (not as you think it is, not as you hope it will be, not as you fear it might be).  Beyond thought, beyond feeling, beyond perception; for thoughts, feelings and perceptions arise in mind and dissolve in mind. Having neither substance nor duration, they are moving, they are phenomena, both inner and outer–can’t count on them, they come and go. It is beyond that (not other than that), beyond that, and inclusive of that –not rejecting that, and not grasping that. 

The true meaning of renunciation is not to shove away attachments. It is simply not to glom onto them and leave them be as they are, because they come and they go (a little patience here is most useful). Bodhicitta; nyingjé.  The hero; the great-hearted one, implies courage, openness. The courage to be open, the courage not to store up all you might ever need, the courage to share in the now what is had in the now, without fear or hope for tomorrow. Are you brave?

Consider that.

I can show you the idea of Bodhicitta by pointing with words. I can show you the feeling of Bodhicitta by pointing with imagination to arise the feeling. I can even show you the perception of Bodhicitta. But, I cannot show you the real Bodhicitta, because it is the true nature of your own mind. And you yourself will have to perceive that. It’s shown in all the symbols when we offer a mandala. 

[Lama Lena forms a mandala offering with her hands and recites a Tibetan prayer].

The flower-strewn ground; form, as it manifests.  The mountain in the center, the great mountains of the world. The pole around which the world spins, the center of the galaxy, your spinal cord.  The sun and the moon, your two eyes by which you perceive light, which is the light by which the mandala is perceivable. Look here, the sun is infinite openness. The moon is Bodhicitta and all your Yiddams are supported by, sit on, or, stand on; a sun disc and a moon disc. Supported by openness; wide open sky-like infinity of spaciousness of mind. Beyond even the air of an idea of center, or edge of here or there, of location or duration, this. The Lotus is primordial purity, naturally and spontaneously arising unsulliable and unsullied, the Lotus. The Lotus itself grows in the muck of the swamp. If you don’t have a mucky, swampy bottom to your pool, you can’t grow a lotus. It won’t grow there. It needs the decaying stinky matter of muck to nourish its roots. It grows blooming pristinely above the muddy water, and if you splash the muddy water onto a lotus– it runs right off, it cannot stick. Lotuses; something on their petals repels water so that no muddy water, no dirt can stick to a lotus. They are completely unsticky, like the sky. Even with the best glue in the world, I cannot glue an object to space, it falls off.

Infinite openness, spaciousness. Combined with Bodhicitta is the totality of your own true nature. “Wrong sem tong selng nol chabsu chiwo”– the last and ultimate refuge. Own mind, emptiness, clarity, innate nature of this, I take refuge. And what is that innate nature? It is the union of Bodhicitta and infinite openness. The union of form and sky in consort practice. Whether actually in form it is practiced, or whether it is practiced in imagination and visualization (and both ways are valid).

You need a very special chemistry to manage it with a live person. Much easier to manage it with imagination and visualization. One of my teachers kept trying, sending me his students to see If any of them stuck in that way– and I had many lovely affairs with them, but nothing stuck in that way. He’d send them over to my cave with a bottle of whiskey in the middle of the night. “Here, take this over to Lena”–I wasn’t Lama then. And of course, if a man turns up at your cave in the middle of the night with a bottle of whiskey, you’ve got to offer him some. And since Tibetans are congenitally incapable of not finishing a bottle once it’s opened, it’s just the custom; you open a bottle, you finish it. Those were interesting nights. The point I’m making (I just digressed into stories). The point I’m making is; that [15:44] the symbol of consort practice, the pawo **indistinguishable*  dorje ** pawo. 

The pawo is the symbol of Bodhicitta, the manifestation of the Bodhisattva. In form, as form.

The khandro is the manifestation of infinite, open, spacious awareness. When the dance of form and the space which contains it come together; you have the true svabhavikakaya, Dharmata. The true dance of form in emptiness, Bodhicitta. And so I carry you with words, to the understanding of it. 

Thoughts; the idea of Bodhicitta–which as I said, I can show you (been doing that). Let’s try for the feeling; nyingjé. “Nying-jee”; heart-expanding, heart-opening. I want you to visualize either a kitten or a puppy–depending on whether you prefer dogs or cats. For me, it’s possums (but that’s another story). They’re in your hands, little one. If you’re doing kitten or puppy; figure them about between four and six weeks old; eyes are open, they’re playful, It’s purring. (If it’s a puppy, it’s licking and smiling). Hold the kitten or the puppy–or a baby, (If you prefer babies– your own baby). Right at that sweet spot where they’re sleeping through the night, but not trying to kill themselves yet. Hold it here. The puppy enthusiastically licks your nose. The kitten purrs and reaches up its little hand, paw to bat at your face, blinking in a cat smile. The puppy wiggles its tail, grins. The baby looks into your eyes with a beautiful smile on its face and reaches up and touches mama. Feel this melting your heart. Holding your baby puppy, kitten or possum, bring forth the heart-melting, opening, relaxing feeling. Realize that time is long.  Throughout the turnings of the universe, every single being; has or will have been, or will be; your puppy, your kitten, your baby. So let that feeling open up and spread out through time and space. That feeling of love and being loved. Don’t hold it in in a narrow focus towards just “this baby”, “this puppy”, “this kitten”, open it up. All the bugs and the birds. Yes, even the crazy politicians who were once your baby. 

Feel it, allow it, Don’t hide, don’t scrunch down because some of them might be in a bad mood at the moment. You don’t stop loving your toddler when it throws a shit fit, which they do. You might be really frustrated and embarrassed by your toddler’s shit fit. But, you don’t stop loving it for that. When your kitten gets into your knitting project and spreads it all over the house and you get up in the morning waking up to yarn, every which way, everywhere up and down the stairs (yeah, that happened). You don’t stop loving it. When your puppy pees on the carpet you clean it up. But you still love your puppy. So yes, some sentient beings are currently throwing shit fits in Washington. In Myanmar, they are confused like a little kid. Overtired, overstressed, don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. So, they’re having a tantrum. You don’t stop loving them. You don’t like the tantrum, you don’t have to love the tantrum. They, the one having the tantrum, the one throwing the tantrum, is not the tantrum. It’s just something passing that they’re doing. Really, they are one of the Buddhas of the four times, they are among all Buddhas of the four times, for the moment arises of enlightenment of each and every idiot like you and me. And the politicians, you don’t stop loving (because someone acts the fool), you still love them. You may despair over their behavior, it doesn’t change the love, trust me, I have kids. Consider this, feel, this.

Shall we show your subconscious through symbols? ––That was to show your conscious through imagination, how it might feel.

The practice of Bodhicitta (not the ultimate Bodhicitta), but what we practice today in day-to-day life, is simply methods for bringing forth this understanding, and this feeling, and this perception. So we can perceive all living beings as having open awareness as their true nature (they’re just too busy to notice at the moment, they’ll get over it). To work in symbolisms, Chenrezig is the best; you visualize in your heart chakra, a lotus bud, closed, tight. Well, because somewhen –probably in middle school, you got kicked in the heart and it closed up. Somebody hurt ya. It has 1000 petals. You take the feeling that we just talked about; kittens, puppies, babies. And you water the Lotus bud in your heart, with that feeling, of love that is not based on behavior. 

Of open love, wide open great-hearted love, and it opens, it blooms. The petals elongate and each pedal becomes a ray of light, reaching out to the heart chakra of another living being. Where it blesses that, with this feeling of great-hearted, open-hearted, loving-awareness. So that their heart chakra relaxes, blooms and opens. Their Lotus bud opens and blooms into the 1000 petal Lotus, with each petal elongating into a ray of light. You have sent out 1000 rays of light and each one of those thousands blooming a lotus, in the heart of a living being, of a bug, a god, a demon, a fish…everything.

And so those thousand, blooming thousand-petalled lotuses, send out a thousand, thousand rays of light, touching other heart chakras. In the center of each Lotus (now visible that it has bloomed), is a seed syllable; Hrih. Around that seed syllable is a mantra. Ohm, Ma, knee, pod, may, hung. (Om Mani Padme Hung). As the mantra turns you say the mantra while visualizing thousands, and thousands upon thousands, thousands. Thousands upon thousands, thousand, thousand, thousands of lotuses coming into bloom. And some of the rays of light returned to your Lotus and continue to water it with their love, as you water theirs with your love. And so the interconnection between the heart chakra is of all living beings, arises as rays of light. (Lana Lena chants many recitations of Mani’s “Om Mani Padme Hum Hri”).

Until the whole universe is so filled with rays of light, that it is pure light, so bright, that the objects, the beings, are barely visible, light upon light. This light, Sambhogakaya nature-of-mind; the luminosity by which the see-er sees awareness; Rigpa. The see-er, sees by light, the light of the universe. The very vitality which gives birth to the lucidity which creates phenomena, all of this, everywhere, everything. Love is the light that connects all life to all life. Giving birth and mating. Dying and doing it again. Loving again and again throughout time and space. You have loved, will have loved, every single living being there is. Don’t throw them away. Don’t ever discard them. They are your parents and your children, your teachers and your students, the bugs in your gut, your friends and your enemies. Turn upon turn, as the wheel turns, do not abandon that light which is beyond love. Which is the very life force of the universe which permits it to be more than just a big; dead ole nothing. It’s also called Bodhicitta.

To perceive it. Oh dakas, pawos, [33:25] those of you who personify a yang-ish character, dance as form. Body, shape, being, doing. You need space to do this in. So, embrace the Yin aspect of your own nature. To give yourself the openness and the space so that you dance freely in the sky, rather than being constrained to a little tiny pattern (that’ll hurt)–Free it up!  Sky dancing pawo. Form in emptiness and emptiness as form, let the dance occur for it always will and was and would be; Bodhicitta. See it. Perceive it in the dance of form as emptiness. The nature of which is love. The love of friendship, the love of bromance, the love of parents and children, the love of partners, a thousand colors of it, is interconnectedness. It is the interpenetrating interconnectedness of phenomena, none of which has independent existence. You are a phenomena. Notice this. Are there questions?

Nyondo reads a question from the audience: 

When viewing ourselves as the deity in Union, should we just focus on Bodhicitta and wisdom? Or should we actually view ourselves in blissful sexual union? 

Lama Lena:  

Yes. Both at the same time, please. The bliss of sexual union is the life force. What is the strongest two instincts in the universe? The instinct to mate and the instinct for self-preservation. The instinct for self-preservation is isolating; Me first, I shall survive. And if I have to stand on your head to do so, I will. That’s isolating. Don’t go there. What is strong enough to overcome that instinct to isolate yourself on top and scrabble over all the others? The urge to merge. Otherwise, male praying mantises would never do it. They know she’s going to eat their heads afterwards, and they do it anyway. Remember your teen years? Remember some of the risks you took to get laid? Holy shit, climbing out windows, or in Windows. Hoping the jealous husband was both not going to come home– and didn’t have a gun. Look at the risks we take just to get laid when we’re in that age group. It overcomes survival instinct, and the orgasm itself is a momentary taste of the bliss of the vitality of life force. Bodhicitta. Next question.

Nyondo asks a question from the audience:

What colors are the Hrih, and the Lotus petal lights?

Lama Lena responds:

The Lotus petal lights are transparent. As is the Hrih. The syllables around the Ohm are white. The “Ma” is green. The “ni” I believe is blue. The “Pad” is red. The “may “(me) is yellow.

And the “hum” is a very dark blue. I think I’m remembering this right but somebody look it up if you will Google for me. “Om Mani Padme Hum”, you’ll see a full-color image of the traditional colors. It’s back there. Let’s see if I got that right. That one has red on the “ni” and blue on the “pad”. Let’s check it Nyondo. Can you Google one And just flash it up there now?

“Om, Mani Padme Hum” images. Okay. I’m going to do it here too. Since I’m old and get forgetful

Okay white, green, yellow, blue, red and dark blue. Yeah, I think I had it. Now I had the “ni” as a blue rather than the “Pad” as a Blue.

Nyondo: 

Oh, yes. And Lama Tasha has also shared a good shot. 

Lama Lena: 

So it’s not reflecting the light. Can you see it?

Lama Lena:

Next question. 

Nyondo reads a question from the audience:

Is there a purpose for this purposeful forgetting? We forget who we really are. Why? Is this a process or is it completely random?

Lama Lena:

Stay tuned for that chapter in the flight of the Garuda coming up soon. How it happened? Remember in Tibetan there’s no actual word for “Why?”. You have to say “for what reason?” to get that idea across. “For what reason, did you go to town?” but not “Why is the sky blue?”. Can’t say it. The sky is not a sentient being it doesn’t have reasons. It doesn’t go to buy vegetables. Tibetan little children don’t go through a “why” stage. They go through a “what” stage “What is this? What is this?” and a bit of a “How do you do that?”. But, not a “Why?” stage, because it’s not in the language.

In the beginning, Kuntuzangpo, Kuntuzangmo, existing, primordial Buddhahood, beyond time and space. When the light symbol of vitality of lucidity strikes the crystal of awareness. It fragments into multiple rainbow-colored lights. Kuntuzangpo recognized himself, herself, Himherself, as the awareness, the crystal of awareness, as the light of vitality. And as the space in which the rainbow-colored lights occurred. And so never became other than, primordial Buddhahood. Sentient beings however, had a little oops. Seeing the pretty rainbow-colored lights–oops. They thought they were outside of themselves. And so, like a baby who sees for the first time rainbows from your diamond ring on the wall or the blanket and reaches for the pretty rainbows like a kitten chasing a laser pointer light, reaches out to touch the rainbow taking an action, grasping. This action creates a karma leading to a proliferation of rainbows in multiple shapes, leading to a proliferation of grabbing and rejecting, some, leading to more karma leading to more proliferation of perceptions, leading to more activities in regard to those perceptions, leading to more perceptions and so on, until right here, right now, and all that stuff and you think it’s outside. So you reach for it and muck about with it. You play with it, you put it away, you dust it, you purchase it, you get rid of it, you do stuff with stuff. And it’s never perfect and you’re always trying to improve it. Oops. Next question.

Nyondo asks a question from the audience: 

Please give an example of perceiving Bodhicitta, if we’re of the Yin type, you spoke earlier of Yang.

Lama Lena:

Look at the beauty of the naked man. One that’s to your taste. Lying in a field of flowers. In the soft summer’s sunlight of early morning. The songs of birds in the trees, see the beauty here?

You want to walk into that scene and take off your clothes and roll in the flowers and grasses with the naked man. In joy and harmony. That feeling of attraction to the dance of form. That very dance of form is––when not distorted by hopes and fears, the dance of Boddhicitta. 

The dance of awake awareness in all its lucidity and creativity. Functioning in its natural state of love. Can you feel that? and so you are the sky and the breeze that blows through, cooling as the sun, as it warms in the day. And you embrace the song of the birds in the trees and the scent of the flowers in the field. And you love, as sky, the form you embrace. Infinite open awareness loves dance, the bliss of the dance, the beauty of the dance. And your lover is Bodhicitta. And in union with your lover, you are both infinite open awareness, sky-like and vast without boundary and loving dance of form. There is no separation, completely merged. Can you feel that? Next.

Nyondo asks a question from the audience: 

Why is it so difficult to feel love towards oneself?

Lama Lena:

Culture. Conditioning, that you are not good enough, by teachers and others in authority. Usually early on, first five years of life. Tibetans don’t have that the same way in their culture. They utterly spoil kids for the first five years and then dump them in boarding school.

We are always correcting our children so that they will improve. Which convinces them that they’re not good enough. It’s really hard to refrain from doing that with your kid. Like “No, actually, if you put the salt in your hand and then sprinkle it in your soup, you’re less likely to –from that container to actually dump, you know, two tablespoons of salt in your soup by accident, and that will make it undrinkable”. You want to tell them this because they’re going like this: (Lana Lena demonstrates in gesture how a child may dump out a lot of salt into their soup). You want to save them from this, so you correct them. Ahh, Most of us have been overcorrected. And did not notice that this was being done to us young enough to have fought the conditioning early enough, while it was still in a plastic state. I would guess that is a large reason. It’s not yours. It was gifted to you. One of the things you can do about that would be a Lakota soul retrieval, not the Tibetan, the Lakota ones, they’re very good about getting off the bits that aren’t yours. You might see if there’s a shaman in that lineage around. If you’re up Seattle way, go check out Char Sun Dust. I believe she’s up Seattle way, somewhere. In other areas, just go see who’s there. And if they know how to do that.

Please, you are not an entity. You are an ecology. Even if you don’t love yourself, could you please love the other inhabitants in your body? As part of Bodhicitta, you might be able to start there. I don’t know if this answers your question effectively or not.

I don’t know why it is really that hard to love oneself. However, if you learn enough Dzogchen to be able to not believe everything you’re thinking. Then you can simply not believe the little voice that goes around going, “I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot.” As you mistake the salt for the sugar and put the wrong thing in your coffee.

Next question

Nyondo asks a question from the audience: 

Can we simplify the visualization into just the shining Lotus without syllables and different colors? Or are the details necessary– 

Lama Lena: –No, do the work.

No, you can’t. You need the details. You don’t have to have them more than vaguely there, if your problem is with visualizing. It doesn’t have to be perfect for shit’s sake. Give up on the whatever-you-think-perfect-is and just do it the best you can. It’ll work. What you need is to believe in it. Faith, not blind faith. But the faith that arises from trying something and experiencing the results, so you know it leads to this result. You need that faith, so you end up trying your very best, which is absolutely good enough. Trust me on this. Take my word for it. One of the reasons you get a teacher is so someone can tell you that your best is good enough. Because otherwise, you’ll keep trying to fix it and never actually do the practice. Because it’s never actually good enough. You know that trap. I tell you in words, I give you my word, that your best is good enough. So go ahead and try the practice on your own. You can do it. Next.

Nyondo asks a question from the audience: 

Is this Chenrezig practice similar in the way it works in the Nyingma practice of Samantabhadras offering clouds?

Lama Lena:

Quite similar, yes. Not the same. Things are all unique in themselves. Nothing is the same as anything else. Not even two leaves in the same tree. But similar. Next.

Nyondo asks a question from the audience: 

Should the heart-melting puppy feeling be applied to other peaceful yidam practices like green Tara?

Lama Lena  

How would you do that? Get back to me.

Nyondo asks a question from the audience: 

How does the daily practice of the Bodhisattva vows help realize our ultimate nature?

Lama Lena  

Good question. The Bodhisattva vows are guidelines. Some of them no longer culturally appropriate. For example, [57:11] do not disparage a Sravakas. Yeah, know of any Sravakas? You got any around here? No longer culturally relevant. So by looking at the essence of the meaning, just as the Six Paramitas are excellent guidelines about how to practice Dharma, they’re your basic, general: “Do it this way. Practice it with generosity. Practice it with awareness of karma on morality. Practice it with patience. Don’t want instantaneous results. Take a little while at it, wait til it– you know, be patient with it. Practice it with meditation. Practice it wisely.”– I left something out but I’m just going over these quick. So you see this is a guideline in how to practice. Dharma, big the whole, kabooltz.[58:15] So the Bodhisattva vows are a guideline in how to practice Bodhicitta. They need to be understood in their essence rather than their particulars. For example, when a vow says not to refuse help to someone, which you are capable of giving. Help– if someone is doing some work. I don’t know… cleaning the house, digging the garden, and asks you for help. You’re not allowed as a bodhisattva to refuse that help, should you be capable of giving it, out of sloth and laziness. However, if you are handicapped and have a limited number of spoons in a given day, you are not obliged to give away them all before noon. Difference. “Out of laziness”, listen to that. You don’t automatically say no because you can’t be bothered. You actually consider, do I have time? Do I have the ability? Will there be any negative repercussions if I do this?  You look at it.

This does not mean you overextend yourself, or can’t say no. Establishing appropriate boundaries was apparently not much of a problem in the culture that originally put these out.

There were too many boundaries, you can’t refuse to have dinner with someone of low status if they invite you. And there isn’t any particular reason why you can’t.

You’re not allowed to refuse an offering out of hope for a better offering. You can refuse an offering because you think that the person actually needs this object. And you probably shouldn’t take it in their enthusiasm because they’re going to need it later. Like if you think somebody is trying to give you their grocery money for a teaching and they got kids, you can say no. But you can’t say no, because it’s a piddling offering of 10 bucks and you think if you say no, maybe they’ll give you 20. Do you understand? Cultural. You will have to look at the essence of the meaning. Why are you not supposed to refuse? Because in the caste system in India at that time, the idea of a Brahmin going to eat with a lower caste person. (Lama Lena shakes her head and makes a “tsk tsk” sound, to signify this was not appropriate culturally at that time). I had the first inter-caste party in Tso Pema. How long ago was that? 

Nyondo:  

Oh, some years back, it was like, the party of the year.

Lama Lena:

New Year’s 2000?

Nyondo:

No, 2008 or nine, I believe. And it was the party of the year in town.

Lama Lena:

Oh, yeah. Because I put the rumour out that the mythical thing called pizza would be available and we made some. People had seen it in movies, but nobody had ever tasted it. So the entire town included all the VIPs–who didn’t actually like me, wanted to come and started being nice to me (instead of giving me the hairy eyeball). There’s a few VIPs that I don’t really.. am good friends with–Pawan. 

Nyondo:

–Oh yes.

Lama Lena:

But he in his wife really wanted to come and it was intercaste so all the brahmans said they weren’t going to come. I said “oh so sorry, you’ll miss the pizza”. (laughter in the background)

They came. Not only did they eat the pizza, but they went and hid under the kitchen table and ate the momos, which were meat. Fun party. Understand that I broke every cultural rule. I put a big photo of Gandhi up on the wall with a Kado around him, right across from the Dalai Lama with a kado [1:03:15] around him. I was making a point by having an inter-caste party, I invited the shoemaker, he was scared to come but I convinced him that the food would be so good. It was worth it.

Nyondo:

Some of the middle-class non-Brahmin were nervous about coming

https://youtu.be/bpiHsnNL_tw?t=3828

Lama Lena: 

Yeah, they were afraid they might get lynched by Brahmins. What you need to understand is, in that culture, to go have dinner with a low caste, man, you’re breaking those boundaries. You’re not standing on status. If you are invited to dinner by a poor man, you are duty-bound if you didn’t have another engagement or something like that to go. If you are a monk and don’t eat in the evening. That is not an excuse. Bodhisattva vows supersede monks’ vows. You go have dinner. However, you eat lightly because if you’re not used to eating in the evening and you eat heavily, it will disturb your digestion. And you don’t harm your body because if you’re a monk, you probably have tantric precepts on top of those, which includes not committing austerities and going to extremes to harm your body. 

Are you beginning to understand the context of some of these? I cannot tell you or read you what they are until after you’ve taken them. They’re secret. I could talk to you about them like this, without them in front of me. That’s as far as I can go. There’s a story. You have to want them bad enough to be willing to jump off the cliff. My cousin is a marine. One of my favorite cousins, Japanese family. I think her dad was Japanese and her mom was Jewish / Hispanic mix? Or was that her stepmom? Anyway, my family’s all over the place with everybody in it. So she’s a marine, and she told me once in basic training, (I guess this was at one of our Christmas do’s when the whole family gets together), and she was stationed around here. She told me about a test after you finish basic, where each Marine, one by one, goes into a pitch dark room. In that room, in the center of the room is a square pit. The Marine is instructed to enter the pit and hang by their fingertips from the wall, from the edge. The Pit is deep enough that their feet won’t touch bottom. So they’re hanging there in space, then comes the command “let go”. Those who are unable to do so supposedly don’t become Marines. It’s actually only about 12 feet deep, but they don’t know that.

It’s partly a test of whether you can follow orders and partly a test as to whether you trust your commander. And the one giving the orders is one who is known to them as their commanding officer, do you trust that person?. So, Bodhisattva vows a bit like that, you have to want them enough to let go. And try. You will not succeed in keeping the 18 primary and 46 or 48 secondary vows letter-perfect. Don’t even think about that. What you will do is understand how they work, and so proceed to have very good guidelines about how to practice Bodhicitta until such time as you actually become a bodhisattva. 

Unlike Vinaya monks’ vows––which are taken only for this day or only for this life. Once you take Bodhisattva vows. They’re permanent. Life upon life. They support you. Oh, you’ll break ‘em. There’s ways of refreshing them when you do. You’ll get pissed at someone enough to wish them ill. Yeah, that’s breaking one of them, but isn’t fully broken. If you aren’t glad afterwards that you wish them ill, you have to have four things to fully break most of them. And those four things are, thinking it’s good to do that which breaks it. Being happy you did it. Hoping you will do it even more times, rejoicing. I think the other one is rejoicing in having done it. Intending to do it again. You have to have all of these things for a full breakage otherwise you just bent it and you go oops. I will pay more attention to that guideline. You take these as guidelines, not as something that you expect to be perfect at. They help you grow into them. Didn’t your mommy ever buy you shoes that were a size too big because your feet were growing so fast, and she could only afford one new pair for this year? So you wear bulky socks for the first few months and then your feet grow into them. So these are the same. 

If you are continuously hating yourself for being imperfect, it may not be time yet to take these. Because looking through them last night and preparing this, and preparing this weekend I realized that certain women acculturated–– you might be male, but if you got acculturated Western female in some way, you’re going to hate yourself for not be perfect and feel you need to be conciliatory with everybody. I put on my Facebook, an article about this [link?]. If that is your primary problem. hold off on this. Don’t join us tomorrow. Take the blessing of today. And work on that problem work on having boundaries. Because certain hang-ups, if you haven’t actually learned to deal with them yet, in your dharmic practice, could be made worse by these. 

So go read the article on Facebook while you’re deciding. It’s on my “Lena Feral” Facebook and I think I also put it on live. It’s just a URL. It’s just a bitsy article, but it’s easy to read about certain issues that is common females acculturated. And know that everybody has a little bit of that, that’s not a reason not to. If it is your primary hang-up, the thing that drives you crazy most of all your neuroses, then maybe not take them this time. Work on that first, get that a little bit cleared out of your energy channels, whether by doing Tsa Lung practices or Vajrasattva or whatever you choose to do, but deal with that first. Other questions?

Article Link:

“The Stress Response That’s Putting Women Last This evolutionary throwback is called “freeze and appease” https://www.instyle.com/beauty/health-fitness/freeze-appease-stress-response?utm_source=emailshare&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-share-article&utm_content=20220219

Nyondo reads a question from the audience:

Well, the related one which I think you’ve partly covered the answer to was, how do we know that we are ready to take the Bodhisattva vows? You talked about some of the things where it might be a good idea to wait.

Lama Lena  

If you are not sure you are ready, then you can wait. It’s a big deal. Rinpoche refused to give them, Wangdor Rinpoche, I have them from Lama Thubten Yeshe.  Wangdor Rinpoche refused to give them because he said “as phrased they are unkeepable”, he’s right. You’ll never get them perfect. Not until you actually are a bodhisattva. Fortunately, I have them from Lama Thubten Yeshe who explained that to me. These are guidelines you aspire to keeping them, you’re not expected to be 100% successful. Tomorrow is also good. Many of you will have had them previously. And over time allowed them to deteriorate, oopsies. Refreshing them when they are given again is a wonderful idea. Highly recommended if you’ve bent them out of shape. Get them refreshed. It’s good for ya. These will–– if you follow them as guidelines, without expecting perfection of yourself. They will keep you on the path to enlightenment through all future lives. They will block your rebirth in the three lower realms. Consider this. Questions.

Nyondo reads a question from the audience:

Do I have to have taken formally taken refuge before taking Bodhisattva vows?

Lama Lena  

It is best if you have. If you have been unable to take refuge or if you have not taken refuge, there’s two possible reasons. One is you haven’t been able to get into a group or a class for taking refuge but you really want to do so. I’ll let you slide. Just get into the nearest and soonest refuge that’s offered available. I do ‘em sometimes. If you have not taken refuge because you’re not sure you want to, then also don’t take these. Do you see the difference? Was the difference clear to you know? Nyondo?––”yes” 

Okay, then it’s going to probably have gone through clearly. So if you have not formally taken refuge because you have not been able to get an opportunity to do so you may take these with me tomorrow, with the understanding that at the nearest opportunity, you will formally take refuge if you have not taken refuge because you’re not sure it’s the right thing for you. Then no, these are not the right thing for you either.

Nyondo asks a question from the audience:

To go back to an earlier question, this was about generating the loving puppy feeling. The same person talked about generating the same loving feeling during sadhanas while doing the mantra spinning light-generating part of the sadhana and using that same feeling for that.

Lama Lena:

Mmm, No.  Each sadhana has its own feeling. For instance–– and now it’s in there, but it’s subtly different. For instance, Tara as an example. The feeling of being good enough, able, competent, is the primary feeling. That feeling frees you up to love all sentient beings as your children, who you will protect but it’s a slightly different way of it.  Vajravarahi, it’s the culmination of enthusiasm on that one, the wild. Phurba?. [01:10:18] No, it’s the feeling of right here right now. Just this, as it is. So each sadhana has Boddhicitta as part of it and you arise Bodhicitta,  the puppy kitten feeling before you start the sadhana. When you take refuge, you always take refuge and arise Bodhicitta before you start a tantric sadhana. Then, within the sadhana the feelings are orchestrated slightly differently, with symbols. Next question.

Nyondo reads a question from the audience:

Is being a vegan part of following the Bodhisattva vows?

Lama Lena:

Not necessarily, although it is a very nice and wonderfully kind thing to do for the sake of animals. Because many people do not maintain health properly under that diet, due to their knowledge, due to their genetics, due to their inability to acquire sufficient alternative vitamin B. No, no diet is mentioned. That’s an individual choice. I have tried myself, not veganism, but vegetarianism and got royally sick after a while. I don’t absorb vitamin B nicely. I need a lot of it in my diet and supplements, B12 or I go anemic. So, each person is different. Those of certain genetic types will find it easier to be vegan or vegetarian than others. Tibetans rarely thrive without at least a certain amount of meat in their diet. Even if it’s just used as a seasoning. No, there’s nothing in the vow about what you should eat. In fact, most of the vows are about interacting with other homosapiens. Next. 

Nyondo reads a question from the audience:

In taking the vows do you commit yourself to returning as a human as opposed to joining you on the spaceship?

Lama Lena

What makes you think you can’t be human, a Homosapien on the spaceship? No, you commit yourself to great-hearted open-heartedness throughout time and space. No, there’s no specifics about what species you have to be, to be great-hearted and open-hearted, or what diet you have to eat or what clothes you have to wear. It’s much more about inside. Although the rules are all the ways people in that culture, generally fucked it up. You know, I have heard tell, since I’m not a monk, I can’t have read the Vinaya. You can’t until after you’re a monk it’s another one hanging by your fingertips and let go. But I have heard that one of the rules is that a young monk with great enthusiasm shall not fling himself upon a bed with pointy legs situated on the second floor over the temple causing this bed to fall through the roof of the temple. And you just think looking at that, I wonder what the story was how he stuck that one in. And you can picture this young monk coming home, going upstairs to his dorm room, flinging himself upon the bed with pointy legs in the bed going “thunk!” And the legs coming through the roof of the temple where there’s a puja going on and shedding dust. And you know, plaster dust and things you just see it where this Vow came from. Now I don’t know if this is real, I don’t hold the Vinaya. So I don’t actually get to read those vows. You’d have to ask an actual monk if there really is a vow like this. But I have heard tell. Don’t vouch for this story, maybe, maybe not. So most of these vows came up as things happen, and people found ways to transgress the essence of Bodhicitta and so a vow got written about that transgression, like refusing dinner with a low caste to a poor person, even when you have time, out of pride, because you’re too good to be seen with a poor person entering their house. Look through the vows to the essence.

Maybe, once we’re back at work, it means that you go sit at the table with the afro Americans in the cafeteria instead of sticking to the white folks. It certainly means that in high school. Or go sit with the Chinese kids, that everybody’s teasing, because supposedly “COVID is the Chinese virus”– that crap coming out of Trump. Do you see? You will look for where in your culture, what that rule was about, and where it can be applied. These vows are for intelligent adults. Okay? You are expected to look at the meaning, they will be given after the ceremony. And then we will meet again on Monday at 11 to talk about them. And if we are not done when I start getting tired in an hour or two, we will meet again Monday at 6 pm. To talk about ‘em again. Until we’re all clear. And probably since 6 pm is a terrible time for the Europeans, but a better time for the Americans who are actually working in the daytime. I’ll do mostly work my way through all the Europeans at the morning session, and we’ll see how many Americans I get to. I’m going by location, not nationality. If you’re an American and Amsterdam, you’re the European gang. It’s timezone stuff. Next question.

Nyondo reads a question from the audience:

Does developing the habits that come from Lojong practice serve as a good preparation for taking Bodhisattva vows?

Lama Lena:  

Remind me what Lojong is? Um. Person who asked that question. For some reason. I’m blanking on Lojong. I know perfectly well and I can’t remember. So would you please tell me real quick? You can tell when I’m starting to get tired, the nominal aphasia gets worse. You know, I’m 70 this year.

Nyondo:   

Its mind training through aphorisms says Wikipedia. I don’t know. 

Lama Lena:  

Now let’s see what he says

Nyondo:

Lojong is mind training.

Lama Lena:  

Okay, I know that one. Depends on who taught you Lojong. It’s one of the ones that can easily be misunderstood. If you received it from a teacher who was able to give you the understanding, plus the letter, rather than taught it to you by rote, then yes, it will be excellent prep. Certain practices are easier to misunderstand than others. However, considering the intricate creativity of all sentient beings, someone creatively will find a way to understand misunderstand the simplest. It’s what keeps teachers awake. To be a student of Dharma, you absolutely must have a sense of humor. Work on that too. It comes from being able to relax. Bodhicitta is a relaxation. You no longer have to scrabble on top of everybody else in the crab pot.  Next.

Nyondo asks a question from the audience:

What’s the most Dzogchen and fastest way to cultivate relative Bodhicitta in a step-by-step way?

Lama Lena  

But Dzogchen doesn’t have a step-by-step way. Your questions’ an oxymoron. 

If you are able to sit in Trekchö, and from there, perceive, see, recognize, realize. The utter interconnectivity through time and space of all phenomena. That would be but it’s not step-by-step. Dzogchen just is.  Mahamudra (Chagchen) has steps. Dzogchen has preliminaries but no steps. Next.

Nyondo reads a question from the audience: 

Can you speak a bit more about repairing the Bodhisattva vows? 

Lama Lena:

Yes, there’s a little prayer, you’ll get it tomorrow. And you recite it if you think you’ve 

“oopsed!”, and it fixes it. You do it in the evenings. Most people who hold the Bodhisattva vows, do that little prayer most evenings, like four lines, six lines it’s short. The guidelines help you. They become second nature after a time and don’t require that much thought. But shit happens. Under which circumstances, yeah, you’ve bent something. probably didn’t break it, but yeah, it got bent. So you say the prayer. And you say to yourself: “Oops, I’ll try to avoid bending it in that way again”. And it’s very simple and easy. And if you think that you have seriously bent them out of shape, or put them down, or really broken them repeatedly and that that wasn’t strong enough. Your second line is to simply retake them with a qualified teacher. Which completely refreshes them and puts them back. Because we all oops, Samsara after all, is an oops. Yeah. Don’t start beating yourself around the head for having oops’. How are we doing? Are we getting to the end soon? ––Yeah. How many more you got, that look like serious priorities?

Nyondo: 

Only one or two?––Okay. So one question is, are there protections needed while generating Bodhichitta or practicing with it?

Lama Lena:

No. I mean, I’m not sure what you mean by that. Bodhicitta is great-hearted open-heartedness. It’s a combination of loving kindness, courage, and the space for that to manifest is nothing to protect. Next.

Nyondo reads a question from the audience: 

What happens when people don’t take the Bodhisattva vows? I mean, is there any kind of karma generation I don’t know what happens.

Lama Lena: 

No, they simply don’t progress as fast on the path because they don’t have this particular tool. There are other paths that do not require these. There are paths and lineages that do not contain these. These are only contained in my Mahayana. Theravada is a perfectly valid path. For all I know, Yaquis, South American Yaqui Indian may be a perfectly valid path. I don’t know I’ve never walked it. So under these circumstances, nothing bad happens to you if you don’t take them, except this particular tool for speeding up your advancement in the Mahayana path is not available to you. Next.

Nyondo reads a question from the audience:

the last question is more of the “Are we there yet?” question. if you take the vows, once you’ve taken them and you’re practicing them, what sort of signs are there to show that you’re on the right path with them and are doing well with them? Are there any?

Lama Lena:

More people love you. And you love from back. The results of the geywa created by this permeate your existence. Shit still happens because after all, we are in samsara. But

when there is love, the shit is more tolerable. Isn’t it babe? –Nyondo laughs and replies: Yes.

Next, if we have one.

Nyondo reads from the audience:

I think someone else was asking about saying just a few more words about fixing the vows when they’re broken. But you spoke about a prayer or about having the vowels refresh. And are there any other methods?

Lama Lena:

You don’t even break the vows you just bend them. Unless there are the whole four things that it takes to actually break one. Otherwise, it’s just bent. To break one you have to believe it’s a good idea to do that thing, not recognize that it was breaking a vow, rejoice in having done it, want to do it more and decide to do it more. All of this, (there’s a fourth one I’m trying to remember) this blurring those lines. So they’re really kind of hard to break. Bend, yeah, you’re gonna bend them all the time. But, you say the little prayer and it unbends ‘em. Start over. Stop. These are not for trying to be perfect with! Okay? These are a learning experience. By intending to keep them, and when you don’t going, “oops”, and fixing it. They’re just as good as new. And they change you. When I took them in a grass hut on the side of a hill in Nepal. Completely changed my life, the energy of that. I will vouch that there is a great deal of energy in the taking of these. 

You’re all afraid of making a mistake. You will make mistakes. I make mistakes all the time. That’s fine when you make a mistake. You say “oops”. I have it posted in large letters in my kitchen. “Oops”, not “Oh my god, how terrible I made this mistake. I’m bad and awful and a horrible person I must be” and don’t do that. Go “oops” and fix it. See how you made that mistake and how you can maybe more clearly label or keep the salt and the sugar in very different containers. So you won’t make that mistake again. It’s very simple. And the Bodhisattva vows are like that. “Oops, that got bent a bit today. I was really pissed off. Okay, I’m gonna do the little prayer and fix it. I’ll try not to bend it that way again”. There you go. Utterly simple. No, I’m not giving you a stick to beat yourself over the head with, I’m sure you’re perfectly capable of finding your own sticks to that purpose. That’s not what these do.

These help you condition yourself into the becoming (you’re always becoming) of a hero, of a great-hearted open-hearted hero. So join me, if you will. And we shall dance the hero’s dance tomorrow, together. 

[Lama Lena recites, sharing merit]:

Geywa dee yee
Nur du da
Cheyche sala
Go par shog

May all beings be happy. May all being be free. 
We are complete. I’ll see most of you tomorrow.